I don’t know which is worse, realizing that you’ve invested in nothing, that this was all an elaborate web that stings you in the end. Or understanding that you betrayed your feelings, feelings that you could’ve sworn weren’t so ephemeral.
It’s about not being who you feel like you have to be. Love can disappear while you’re sleeping. Sometimes you get it back and sometimes you don’t. The point is to not be scared of it while it’s there. Although love is amazing and everyone claims to want it, true love can actually be fucking terrifying and overwhelming. The best thing you can do for yourself though is not let your fears rob you of something truly special. My coworker said to me, “You shouldn’t be afraid, it is apart of life.” It is true. I rather feel hurt than to feel regret. Be brave, be bold, and take risks! Getting hurt is apart life. It is a learning experience that we all go through, maybe more than once, however don’t let it prevent you from going after the happiness you deserve. Don’t let spontaneity be your enemy.
If you don’t take risks, your life will forever stay the same, which is fine if you prefer it that way. You don’t want to have to deal with any unexpected twists and turns, any switches in the narrative. You find great comfort in the familiar, even though the familiar is actually what’s killing you. You are wrapping your arms around the very thing that’s going to cheat you out of everything. Understand this though: you are missing out. You are missing out on everything that makes a life worthwhile. You are missing out on joy, excitement, despair, mistakes that are necessary for you to make.